I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
