Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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