I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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