you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
