im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
