We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
