Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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