I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
