if you like me you must not know who I am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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