Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
