Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
