Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
