wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
nutella sex= disaster
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
