remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize