I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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