No awkward lesbian experiences without me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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