I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize