I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
