When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
