did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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