remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
