I puked a lego.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
