from now on my penis is your penis
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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