Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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