Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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