I'm really into asian looking animals
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
