You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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