just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize