I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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