This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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