idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
