what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
