Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
