Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
