You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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