How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
