You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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