Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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