Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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