P.S. I can't hear my feet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
