I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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