AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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