It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
