You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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