just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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