my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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