i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize