ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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