I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
