tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
