Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
