I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
