I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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