Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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