Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
