God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
