Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
