morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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