About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
