she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Enjoy the penises
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
