i think i have herpe
just one?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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