is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
